


Resistance

by ChloeDevanport



Category: Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Feels, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Tragic Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:27:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,094
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22620196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChloeDevanport/pseuds/ChloeDevanport
Summary: I am a nation, I am a million faces. I am a soldier, I won't surrender. The voice of the unheard. It's our world, they can never have it. This is how we rise up. It's our resistance, you can't resist us. // Little story set between episode III and IV.





	1. Chapter 1

"This is madness!" "No, according to my knowledge the definition of madness is to do the same thing over and over again and expect different results. I, on the other hand, intend to do something completely new." "Yes, to lead us all to death. That's what you're gonna do!" "Calm down, Lt. Pollard. That's enough now.", Bail Organa took the floor and the man with the angular face, who had clearly seen too many wars already, fell silent. 

"I know it's risky, but it's also the last chance we have left." "And so far, we have had no reason to doubt even one decision of General Leed.", added Mon Mothma. Her blue eyes, always radiating boundless calm, were fixed on me. "Continue." I nodded. "As I said before, infiltration in itself will not be our greatest challenge. It will only be difficult when we have to leave again." "And how do you intend to do that, General?" Admiral Ackbar asked. I paused.  
The truth would have been to say that I did not know. If I was honest, I didn't even know if there would be anyone left to escape. At best, we managed to transfer the data before all the rebels were killed. But saying that would have wiped out the already rather poor fighting spirit for good. "You just have to trust me, Admiral." "Trust? In what? The force?", Lt. Pollard now interfered again and I could hear all too clearly the contempt in his voice. 

"You should put your trust in me, Lieutenant. "I will not, under any circumstances, allow us to fail. There is simply too much at stake for that, I know that better than anyone else.", I replied and looked around the room. Half of the people here were not trained warriors, not soldiers. Very few of them had any combat experience. All that drove them was the desire for freedom, the will to finally break out of this dictatorship. But that was more than enough. "If we do not try, who will? We are the voice of all those who have no voice. We must not lose faith. We are stronger, we have hope, and they will never take it away." Agreeing murmurs, here and there a reassuring nod. "They have tried to extinguish us, to smother this flame once and for all. But they will be sorry."  
"Are you talking about revenge? I thought this was not the Jedi way." Lt. Pollard smiled at me and seemed extremely pleased with this throw-in, but I just laughed cheerlessly and walked towards him until only inches separated us. "I am talking about justice. And I'm no Jedi, no more." Pollard raised his eyebrows and was about to say something very witty when Bail cleared his throat. 

"I think that concludes the session. Everyone should get ready for the mission ahead." Pollard gave a discontented wheeze and gradually the room emptied. I took a deep breath and went through my hair. "Ignore him, he's too old and too determined to change," Bail said. "Oh, I've had my fill of people like him, Senator." I turned my back on him. "Then what's bothering you?" I paused. "You may have more understanding of the force than I do, but I can see when something is on your mind." "And I always thought I was so good at hiding my emotions.", I replied, smiling weakly. "It's because of him, isn't it? Because he will be there."  
Bail suddenly sounded terribly worried, I could feel his fear growing. "It's his ship, of course, he'll be there." "That's not the point. You... you still feel something for him, don't you?" I bit my lower lip hard. Yeah, he was right, and I hated to admit it. "It doesn't matter.", I said, hoping fervently Bail would let it go, but he didn't. Instead, he walked around me and looked at me softly. "Yes, it does matter." Almost ashamed, I turned my eyes away. Was I really that transparent? 

"Ara... I understand. Too much has happened for you to just forget it. No one could blame you. He is..." "I know what he is... and what he once was..." Suddenly I had the feeling I couldn't get enough air and I sat down. Bail put a hand on my shoulder. "Maybe you'd better stay here. The risk of him finding out you're alive is just too great." I shook my head. "He'd find out sooner or later anyway." "But do you think you'll be strong enough?" Bail asked and I looked up at him. "No... I'll never be strong enough for that. Facing him is something I'd like to avoid all too much, and yet..." I left the sentence unfinished, but I had the feeling that Bail knew exactly what I wanted to say. 

"You still love him," he said soberly, but he didn't blame me. It was merely a statement I had tried to banish from my thoughts, but it was the truth. "I do not know what will happen when I meet him. I have put this off for too long and now it has become inevitable.", I said and stood up. "Do you think he's going to kill you?" Bail wanted to know and I flinched inside. I had often thought about this question. Maybe too often. But still, I hadn't found an answer yet. "I don't know. I don't know what's going on inside him. I haven't felt his presence for five years." "Ara, I..." "No, please. I... must prepare and you must hold the fort here, Senator." Bail nodded briefly, he was obviously worried and unhappy about how the conversation had ended, but I didn't have time to deal with it any further now. It was stirring me up far too much inside. 

"One more thing.", I said as I stood in the open doorway. Bail raised his head expectantly. "In case I don't come back, tell my son I love him."


	2. Chapter 2

The shuttle was headed for the star destroyer. A massive ship, over 19000 meters long, far more terrifying than a normal star destroyer. And it wasn't called Executor for nothing, survivors were not expected. 

"We're on approach now, General.", said the pilot and I nodded. "Well, may the force be with us." I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. The silence that surrounded me for the moment was the calm before the storm. I forced my heart to continue beating calmly and steadily, excitement was now the last thing I needed. And yet my thoughts now circled ceaselessly around the same subject. 

Would he recognize me? Yes, of course, he would. And if I hadn't been very careful to hide my presence from him, he would have been able to sense me at a distance of 10 light-years. But I couldn't risk that. Would he get angry? Maybe, since I faked my own death. But maybe the confusion would outweigh the anger and maybe... relief? I couldn't have known the extent to which the dark side had consumed him before. If he was still capable of feeling happiness. Or love. But if he had... his first instinct would not be to kill me on the spot. At least that was my hope. "General, we're landing." I looked up. "All right, get ready."

The shuttle landed in the hangar, my hand closed around the cool metal and it felt familiar. Somehow it calmed me and comforted me. The hatch of the spaceship opened and I told myself that all that mattered was the mission. We needed those plans, badly. Or the rebellion would not last another day.  
"Quickly, quickly!" I heard someone beside me shouting, but I hardly noticed. I activated the blue blade of my lightsaber and the soft warmth spread from the handle up to my shoulders. Green and red laser bolts flickered through the air, sparks flew around and all sorts of voices shouted in confusion. It was like then, it shot through my head as I redirected one of the shots back to its origin and a stormtrooper in white armor went down. Just like the time of the Clone Wars. 

"General Leed!" A desperate-sounding voice came through to me and I turned around. Three rebels were trapped behind some supply boxes, the enemy's fire pelting down on them relentlessly. But I would not abandon them, I had never done that before. "I'll cover you!", I replied loudly and fought my way to them without too much trouble. "Go on, fight your way forward." I hastily pressed a communicator and a small data carrier into the hand of a boy, who was certainly hardly older than 18. "The location of the main memory, find it and save the plans." "Yes General!", the boy replied and waved to his comrades.  
While I took care of the remaining stormtroopers, they ran to the end of the hangar. The first hurdle had been cleared, but soon they would send reinforcements and our group was already decimated considerably. I could only hope that the small group would find its way and all the attention would be on me. Now that they knew a Jedi was on board, the first priority would be to eliminate me. 

I tightened my back and deactivated my lightsaber, for now, I would certainly make enough use of it later. Following an impulse, I crossed the hangar and turned left, in the opposite direction to the rest of the rebels. My heart suddenly began to beat louder, as if it felt something I hadn't noticed yet. I stopped, closed my eyes, and for the first time in five years I cried out loudly for the force, and without hesitating a second, it answered my call.


	3. Chapter 3

The answer I received felt as if a freight train had just rolled over me. The sheer volume of emotion literally brought me to my knees and took my breath away for a few seconds. I had not felt so much anger, pain, and rage in a long time. Not since...  
I opened my eyes and I pulled myself up. As if by magic my feet carried me forward, I did not even know where I was running to, but something told me that it was the right direction. Without a doubt, he would find me now, for if I had felt him in the force then he had surely done the same. My heart was no longer pounding, it beat wildly in my chest. So fast that it slowly became painful. When I turned the next corner, a long passage opened before me. I stopped abruptly and the world around me suddenly stood still. 

About ten meters away from me he stood, wrapped in darkness and although neither of us said anything, it was so loud in my head that I could hardly concentrate. By the force, how could I even remotely believe I had been prepared? It had been so foolish to think that I could just face him again and nothing would happen. But now I stood here and all I could do was look at him and feel the pain that emanated from him. But it was not only the pain, it was despair, disappointment, sadness, disbelief. So many feelings at once that I thought I would have to break under this pressure again. 

Suddenly everything came up again, everything that I had tried to process or suppress in the last five years. All those feelings I could also feel in him. It hurt to be so close to him again after all this time and yet I wanted nothing more than to approach him. For although the sorrow he had caused me was shooting through me explosively, there was also something else. Something that was even stronger than the sorrow that held my heart firmly in its grip at that moment.  
Even stronger than the quiet rational voice in the back of my head that told me that this was not the man I loved. I ignored the voice, ignored the negative feelings that were pulling at me. Yes, maybe it was wrong and it didn't correspond to the teachings of the Jedi, but what did it matter now? He was here, he was there, and he was in terrible pain, I could feel it. 

Calmly but trembling I slowly walked towards him. He did not move, just looked at me, and yet it seemed to pull him in my direction too. At this moment I wished I could see his face, his eyes, to know what he was thinking. From the storm of emotions that raged in him I could only see that he was confused and upset. And so was I. The distance between us continued to shrink and time still seemed to stand still. There was just the two of us at that moment, just us and no one else.  
And suddenly I stood before him, my heart was now beating quietly again as if it knew in whose presence I was. I raised my head and looked up at him. Apart from the loud breathing sound, he made no sound and I could not possibly say what was going on in his head. But I was relieved that he had not immediately pulled out his lightsaber and killed me with it. So he was not angry, at least not with me, for that was still that immense anger that was inherent in him. 

Slowly and uncertainly I raised one hand...and he did the same. It felt as if something was pulling me into his orbit. I was incessantly moving towards it, there was no escape. But I didn't want to escape either, I wanted to give in to this overpowering urge that I had apparently ignored all these years. And whether I was wrong or not, but I believed that it happened to him the same way. Because when our hands finally touched, it was like two planets collided. I could now feel even more clearly how torn he was inside, how lost and lonely he felt. The desire was now overwhelming and even before I could say anything he pulled me into his arms and pressed me firmly to himself. His breath now went faster and I could hear his heart beating as fast as my own. Relief flooded my whole body as he just held me and I suddenly understood how much I had longed for it.  
No matter what had become of him or what he had done. At that moment I realized that this had no meaning for me. I loved him and if this love would finally be my downfall then I would gladly accept it.


	4. Chapter 4

"I thought you were dead.", he said softly, his voice trembling. I shook my head. "No, no...I'm here.", I replied, and now I really clung to him. "He said you had died. He said it was my fault." The quake became more violent, he was now shaking all over his body and I looked at him. "Who said that?", I asked, but I could already guess. "Palpatine." He pronounced the name like it was a disease. "He was lying, he was always lying to you.", I said and put a hand on his chest.  
"I really thought I had killed you... I couldn't feel you..." He reached for my hand as if it were his saving anchor. "But I'm here now and that's all that matters.", I replied. "The baby. What about the baby?", he asked. I pressed my lips together. Could I really tell him? Was the risk not too great? I could feel the dark side in him and the influence that Palpatine had on him. There was no guarantee that he would not try to hand our son over to the emperor if he demanded it of him. 

"Just come with me. Just leave this behind you.", I asked, hoping fervently that my words would get through to him. "I cannot, not yet. My task is not yet complete." I shook my head. Please don't... "What kind of task? What are you talking about?" "To bring eternal peace to the galaxy, as long as the rebels are not destroyed, that will never be the case.", he explained, and I felt my heart contracting painfully. He spoke again exactly as he had done before ...  
"No, stop it. Please just come. This isn't you, it's never been you. Palpatine deceived you, as he deceived all of us. You are just his tool and nothing more." He tightened his shoulders and pushed me a little bit away from him. "I must finish what I started." No, not again. I didn't want to lose him the same way again... "Anakin... I love you. I need you. You're a good person. "Anakin Skywalker is dead." 

The words hurt me more than a lightsaber, a blaster or a punch in the pit of my stomach could ever have done. They pulled the rug out from under me, literally. He caught me, pressed me gently to himself. "Ara..." He cared about me, of course. After all, that concern for me had led him to fall for the dark side. "I... I have to go.", I murmured, trying to pull myself together. "Go? I've only just found you again.", he said and sounded seriously hurt. I swallowed hard. He still loved me, and the terrible thing was that I loved him too. More than anything else, more than my own life. And I had let myself be blinded by my own feelings. Again. 

"Stay with me, I can't live without you.", he said softly and I was almost tempted to give in to his request. But only almost. "I know...but I can't. I must leave." "Where to? Where do you want to go?" The grip of his hands, which still held me, increased. "I will come back, I won't give you up. I promise you that.", I whispered and meant it. I could sense that there was still good in him. Palpatine had not succeeded in destroying everything of Anakin, not even when he had blamed him for my alleged death. So I would not just leave him alone in the dark.  
Suddenly my communicator beeped. "What is that?" he asked. I pressed my lips together. "I'm sorry." "Sorry for what?" I raised my hand and pushed him away from me with the force, then I ran. The communicator beeped again and this time I answered. "Do you have the plans?!" "Yes, we're on our way back to the shuttle, but they're right on our tail. Where are you?" "I'll meet you at the hangar," I replied, hoping fervently that my voice wasn't shaking too much. I didn't want to risk a look over my shoulder. I was afraid that I would stop and turn back if I saw him. At the moment I was simply too weak. 

Relieved and out of breath I finally reached the hangar and the shots told me that the others couldn't be far either. I activated my lightsaber and tried to keep my trembling hands calm. Now I was not allowed to make a mistake under any circumstances. "Quick, quick! Into the shuttle!", I shouted when I spotted the rebels at the end of the hangar. Closely followed by half a battalion of stormtroopers. 

I directed the shots as best I could, but my thoughts were with him. They held my heart in their hands, leaving me with hardly any air to breathe. And then it happened, one of the shots hit me in the shoulder and the blast threw me to the ground. I hit my head, heard the voices around me like through a thick wall of fog. My gaze wandered aimlessly, everything was somehow blurred, and yet I clearly recognized a figure in black at the end of the hangar. And then something red flashed up. 

I felt the waves of anger emanating from him, but they were neither meant for me nor for the rebels. They were only for the unfortunate stormtrooper who had hit me in the shoulder. While two men were still pulling me up the ramp into the shuttle, I saw the storm trooper's head roll over the bare, black floor.


	5. Chapter 5

When I regained consciousness I only noticed a dull throb in my right shoulder. A bright light came through my eyelids and I opened my eyes by blinking. 

"Are you all right?" Bail's voice was balm to my ears and I groped for his hand. "The mission was a complete success, we have the plans." He put his fingers between mine and interlocked them. Yes, a complete success in political terms. But emotionally, it was a disaster. "I couldn't do it.", I whispered, my voice just a faint whisper. "I know, but nobody blames you.", Bail replied softly. "I... I faced him and everything... everything just fell apart." I felt the burning in my eyes and knew that I would not be able to hold back the tears. But I didn't have to in front of Bail either, he was my friend, my confidant. "No one is immune to such strong feelings, my dear. Not even you.", Bail explained calmly and now stroked the back of my hand with his thumb.  
"I was so desperate. I wanted him back with me so much that I ignored everything else.", I whimpered and a tear rolled down my cheek. "You love him so much that you don't care that he is a monster." I looked at Bail. "No, he's not a monster. He's lost, and he needs help." Bail sighed, he probably thought I was a fool and wondered why I didn't finally realize that there would be no more rescue, but I didn't care. I laboriously sat up. 

"I'm not giving up on him." "Without a doubt.", Bail muttered as the door to my room opened and Mon Mothma entered. "There's someone here to see you." She smiled mildly and a boy of five with golden-blond hair and brown eyes entered the room. "Luke..." "Mommy, are you okay?" I wiped away my tears quickly. "Yes, of course. It's just a scratch, nothing more." Bail rose and crossed his hands behind his back. "I'll leave you alone for now.", he said, bowed slightly, and left the room with Mon Mothma.  
I knocked on the edge of my bed. "Come here." Luke ran to me and climbed onto the mattress. "And it doesn't hurt?", he asked and looked at me worried. I smiled slightly. "No, don't worry." My son nodded and then a shadow fell over his face. "You are sad," he said and took my hand. His connection with the force was already so strong that he could read my thoughts effortlessly if I was not careful. 

"Yes..." There was no point lying to him, not now. "But just a little." "Why are you sad?", he wanted to know and squeezed my hand as if to tell me that whoever made me sad would have to deal with him. He was already so much like his father... "I have thought a lot about your father today.", I answered. Of course, I hadn't told Luke who his father really was, but I had told him that he was a Jedi and that something bad had happened to him and I didn't know if we would ever see him again.  
Luke put his head slightly crooked as if he wanted to try to guess what exactly I had been thinking about. "I just really miss him, that's all.", I said, pulling Luke into my arms. "You love him very much, don't you?" I nodded. "Yes, very much. And I hope to see him again soon." "I'm sure you will.", Luke said determinedly and leaned against me. I stroked his blond hair gently. 

My gaze wandered to the big window, out into the darkness of space. I could feel him clearly now, although he was certainly several light-years away. He was angry, still. But now the sadness prevailed and I knew it was my fault. But I would not abandon him, not this time. I would save him at any cost. I had lost him once, I would not let him be lost a second time. Especially since I feared that his end would be mine as well. But as long as there was even a spark of good in him, I would do everything to save him from the final darkness.


End file.
